Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize