I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
