lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
