I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
