If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
