my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
