well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
