he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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