After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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