True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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