can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
