i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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