You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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