bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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