I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
