there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
