my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
