Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
