we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
