Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
