Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
