Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
