"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
