you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
