so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
