Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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