I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this beer tastes like vomit already
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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