She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
