well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
