I hate all girls vehemently.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
