So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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