PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
