This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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