It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
