I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
