Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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