My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
