i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
