last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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