Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize