We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
