it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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