the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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