i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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