you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
