it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
