he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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