Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
