any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
