Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
