i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
