...so i touched it.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize