apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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