the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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