That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
