you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize