you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
