I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
