i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
