Say something about gay babies.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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