i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
